Top 10 of the Only Geeks can understand jokes.
- A Roman Centurian walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean a martini?” the bartender replies.
The Centurian says, “If I had wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”
- Q: Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31=Dec 25.
- A logician’s wife has a baby. The doctor hands the newly born kid to his father.
“Well?” the wife demands. “Is it a boy or a girl?”
The logician replies (completely correctly!) “Yes.”
- Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second scientist says “I’ll have some H2O too.”
After taking a drink, the second scientist dies.
- There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
- Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Would all of you like a drink?”
The first logician says, “I don’t know.”
The second logician says, “I don’t know.”
And the third logician says, “Yes!”
- Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “Sorry: we don’t serve noble gases here.”
He doesn’t react.
- Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He’s 0K now.
- Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting in a French cafe and tells the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.”
The waitress says, “I’m sorry, but we’re out of cream. Would you like that with no milk?”
- Q: How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
A: Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
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And an oldie bonus:
- There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.