Mirror Mirror On the Wall

Do you have to tell it all?

Where do you get the glaring right
To make my clothes look just too tight?

I think I’m fine but I can see
you wont cooperate with me;

The way you let the shadows play
You’d think my hair was getting gray

Whats that, you say? A double chin?
No, that’s the way the light comes in;

If you persist in peering so
You’ll confiscate my facial glow,

And then if you’re not hanging straight
You’ll tell me next I’m gaining weight;

I’m really quite upset with you
For giving this distorted view;

I hate you being smug and wise –
O, look what’s happened to my thighs!

I warn you now, O mirrored wall,
Since we’re not on speaking terms at all,

If I look like this in my new jeans
You’ll find yourself in smithereens!