The Biggest Lies

Ann Landers challenged her readers to come up with the world’s third biggest lie — right after “The check is in the mail” and “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help you.” Here is a sampling from the thousands she received:

– “It’s a good thing you came in today. We only have two more in stock.”

– “Five pounds is nothing on a person of your height.”

– “You made it yourself? I never would have guessed.”

– “You don’t look a day over 40.”

– “Dad, I need to move out of the dorm into an apartment of my own so I can have some peace and quiet when I study.”

– “It’s delicious, but I can’t eat another bite.”

– “The new ownership won’t affect you. The company will remain the same.”

– “The puppy won’t be any trouble, Mom. I promise I’ll take care of it myself.”

– “Your hair looks just fine.”

– “Put away the map. I know exactly how to get there.”

– “You don’t need it in writing. You have my personal guarantee.”

Received from Ed.

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