Geek Jokes

Top 10 of the Only Geeks can understand jokes.

• A Roman Centurian walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean a martini?” the bartender replies.
  The Centurian says, “If I had wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

• Q: Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
  A: Because Oct 31=Dec 25.
• A logician’s wife has a baby. The doctor hands the newly born kid to his father.
  “Well?” the wife demands. “Is it a boy or a girl?”
  The logician replies (completely correctly!) “Yes.”
• Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.”
  The second scientist says “I’ll have some H2O too.”
  After taking a drink, the second scientist dies.
• There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
• Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Would all of you like a drink?”
  The first logician says, “I don’t know.”
  The second logician says, “I don’t know.”
  And the third logician says, “Yes!”
• Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  The bartender says, “Sorry: we don’t serve noble gases here.”
  He doesn’t react.
• Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
  He’s 0K now.
• Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting in a French cafe and tells the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.”
  The waitress says, “I’m sorry, but we’re out of cream. Would you like that with no milk?”
• Q: How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
  A: Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.